Assalamualaikum wbt,
HYE CHUOOLLLLSSS *baling-baling bunga macam pengantin*
Exam pun tiap-tiap minggu hapdate belog. Ekau ni takde koje lain ke ain. Pegi belajor sana haishhh.
Ahhh belajar la ni. Belajar menaip lewlss sangat. Aku berehat ni. Tiap masa aku rehat aku rasa kakakakak.
Yang penting aku dah habis semua oral exam. Alhamdulillah. Dah takde dah rasa nervous macam nak cabut kepala dengan hati letak tepi sat. Mcam nak gugur jantung i bila oral exam muahahahaha. Tu yang siapa kata belajar medic boleh guna google je meh sini aku buat suturing 30 stitches without anesthetics. Dah sampai 15 stitches aku cabut balik satu-satu sebab ada satu jahitan tak lurus. Kita mula balik la ehh sebab tak cantik jahitan i. Haaa engko amekkk !!
Kalau la belajar tu boleh pakai google je takde la aku macam orang gila tetiap malam belajor walaupun kau nampak aku berjimba banyak. Ye lah buat benda baik tayah tunjuk-tunjuk haaa. Kau masak refer resepi dekat google pun belum tentu sama rasa dengan orang yang share resepi tu lagi nak cakap banyak. Lol sangat.
*kan aku dah marah haaa aiyokkk*
Cakap macam takde akal memasing hmmphh.
Dah taknak memarah dah. Bazir tenaga aku menaip memarah ni. Sebab aku hentak keyboard ni macam dia pulak yang bersalah hahahahahaha.
Exam tinggal lagi seminggu je. Means lagi seminggu je nak habis second year. Rasa speechless sangat bila fikir balik. Well i didnt start well at the beginning of the year. Managed to arrived at this level, buat aku rasa macam nak nangis hahahaha. Bongok enn. Tu pun nak nangis.
Diam tak diam tinggal lagi setahun je dekat Bandung. Tak lah sedih sangat nak tinggalkan Bandung. Nak tinggalkan Jatinangor. Tinggalkan Unpad. Tapi yelah tempat jatuh bangun, mesti ingat jugak.
Masa start 2nd year dulu, everything was a mess. I dont even remember how i got out from that mess. Struggle mencari tapak nak melangkah. Merangkak nak cari strength to get up from the fall. Nangis tetiap malam tu macam rutin. I even being labeled as living in my own world. I forget how to smile. I dont bother people around me. Pokoknya everything was a mess.
Maybe sebab things happened different from my expectations. And i wasnt ready for it to happen. I was very clueless and lost at that time. I told everyone yet not all of them understands the situation. Some of them understands, some of them think it is just a simple matter, some of them even have a thought 'why i should bother about it'. Hahahaha lawak la. But things start to fall into its places. Well not all but yeahh. It settling down i think.
When i stepped into the plane masa nak depart dulu, i told myself that everything is going to be just fine. Everything must be settling down soon. And whatever that happens at that time isnt really happening. Pujuk diri sendiri yang all of them are temporary. Just give them 2-3 months and everything akan jadi macam dulu balik. Well thats my thought. At that time. Nak pujuk hati punya pasal kakakakakaka. Kelakar sangat.
3 months later. Nothing happened. Nil. Hahahahha. I'm wrong. I made a mistake. Everything just dont go back to what they used to. To make it awesome. Everything turned out worse. Worse than ever. Haaaa nangis la kau kakakakakkaa. Once again, im finding my step, my courage, my strength and motivation to continue my life. Dengan rumah masuk pencuri segala. Seriously it starts off worse. Everything was not right.
I am not that strong. At least not that strong like what you thought. Hahaha. But i learn on how to survive with every little things left. I know things didnt go like what i've planned. I was pissed off. Siapa tak marah kan haha tapi slowly i accept that things may not go like what i've planned but it surely go like what Allah had planned.
Doa. Macam-macam doa. Siap doa nak jadi tinggi lagi hahaha. Yelah kan sebab aku kurang ketinggian. Doa semoga dikembalikan apa yang perlu. Dijauhkan mana yang tidak. Dibuang mana yang menyakitkan. Didatangkan mana yang menyenangkan. Doa diberi kekuatan.
Slowly aku adapt. Aku adapt dengan ketiadaan. Aku sesuaikan diri dengan kehilangan. Aku biasakan dengan apa yang baru. Aku hargai apa yang ditinggalkan. Aku lupakan apa yang menyakitkan. Gigih aku buat. Cuma kadang-kadang, dia datang bukan bagi warning ke signal ke apa.
To those who sticks dengan aku thru thick and thin this year, i love you alll. Thank you for the advices, motivations, words, ears and shoulder. Yang dengar aku membebel. Yang dengar aku marah-marah. Yang dengar aku melalak tiap-tiap pagi. Yang tolong tadah airmata tiap-tiap malam. Yang tolong ajar gelak. Yang tolong ajar senyum. Yang ingatkan akan ada hari esok untuk aku. Yang tolong kejut dari anganan waktu semalam. Terima kasih banyak-banyak. If i can take all of your pain, i would. As a reward for staying there with me. I cant mention name because its too many. Sometimes they left the effect without they knowing.
Kepada yang pergi, terima kasih kerana singgah haha. Terima kasih sebab ajar cara untuk survive. Thank you sebab sudi nak buat memories dengan aku. Thank you sebab layan aku yang tak berapa nak matang ni. Terima kasih sebab ajar banyak benda dulu.Terima kasih sebab tinggalkan sedikit memori itu. Most of all thank you sebab bagi waktu-waktu bahagia tu eventhough i dont know whether you feel blessed like what i feel or not hahahaTak terbalas rasanya hahaha. Minta maaf jugak kalau menyusahkan. Minta maaf kalau bagi bad memories, kalau termarah, kalau tergedik ke termanja tak kena tempat ke kakakakaka. Well i am a manja-type of person okayyy. Kepada yang dah pergi jauh tu, semoga jumpa orang-orang yang memberi manfaat. Semoga terus berjaya dalam hidup. Semoga happy selalu arasso *high five sikit* hahaha..
I hope i met you back somewhere in the future. Semoga jodoh kita panjang. INSHAA ALLAH.
Regards,
Me *flying smile terus menuju hati awak* hahahahaha
No comments:
Post a Comment